True Friendship

Would you rather have hundreds of “friends” who know you, but don’t really know you—who call you a friend, but only when it’s convenient? Or, would you rather have one true friend who always sticks by your side?

The writer of Proverbs, typically attributed to King Solomon, said this:

“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:24‬ ‭NLT‬‬‬‬‬‬

Some friends come into our lives because of proximity: you work at the same business, your kids go to the same school, or you frequent the same places. But just because you know someone’s name and follow each other on social media, doesn’t mean you’re true friends.

When it comes to genuine friendship, quality over quantity is key.

Even the truest of friends will occasionally let you down, because no one is perfect—except Jesus. He is the truest friend of all.

Learning from Jesus’ example, there are certain characteristics that describe a true and godly friend …

Do they love God? A true friend is one who will ultimately point you back to your Creator and Savior. Who will wrestle through your questions and doubts with you, without judgment or condemnation. Who will speak the truth in love, even when it’s hard. Who will seek to glorify God and honor you as their friend.

Are they willing to work through the hard stuff? Most people are happy to be friends when things are easy, positive, and thriving, but not as many stick around when life gets tough. When you’re sick, when you’re discouraged, when you’ve been misunderstood, or when one of you needs to be lovingly corrected, you need more than just a fair-weather friend.

Are they willing to look beyond themselves? In John 15:13 Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus modeled this by giving His life for ours. They might not have to sacrifice their physical life, but are they willing to serve the people they love? Are they willing to put God first, others second, and themselves third?

All these questions are great guidelines when looking for solid friendships. But before you look for a friend with these characteristics, first make sure you look in the mirror. If you want to have these friendships, then you need to be the kind of friend who lives out these characteristics with integrity and grace. Be the true friend you desire.